Recently, a client shared a sentiment that resonated. He said, 'don't forgive and forget, that allows it to continue; forgive and remember, so it stops.'
Maybe I think too much, but after pondering his comment, I feel it needs to be further defined.
For the one doing the forgiving, to forgive and forget is a good thing. It's what we are called to do. When someone does something wrong and feels badly, they seek a second chance. That new beginning can only come when we forgive and forget, fully accepting them despite the not-so-perfect things they've done.
For the one being forgiven though remembering is necessary so they can forget.
The key to receiving unconditional forgiveness is to 'go and sin no more'. Remembering what was done incorrectly, identifying what to do differently, and committing to doing those things are critical for stopping repeat offenses. Once positive change is made, they can redeem themselves. Because they remembered and changed, they can also forgive themselves and know peace of mind. That's the ultimate in forgetting, yes?